He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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