just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
