i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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