I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
