Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
