My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
