I should be sponsored by Trojan
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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