i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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