she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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