Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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