when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
