And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
