you guys were way drunker than both of me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
