Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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