I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
this just has baby written all over it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
