Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
