I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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