Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we should paint friendship bongs
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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