He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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