If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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