Screwed.edu
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
