We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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