dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
