Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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