my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
