Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
