Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
