i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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