Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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