she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
