he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
