my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
