I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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