Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
