i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
