So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
