I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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