She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
