there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
