I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
