JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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