I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
