Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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