even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
