Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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