Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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