Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
