Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
