My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
