Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
