I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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