omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
