My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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