Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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