2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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