One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's Friday. Sex?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
