How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I touched a dick in church today
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
