you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
