Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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